What about the adoption?

For a little recap...
We started the process to make Rylie a big sister in late 2008. First we thought we would become four in Kyrgyzstan. Quickly we realized our hearts were not remotely in Kyrgyzstan, our hearts were in Kazakhstan.  So in February 2009, we started our Journey to Kazakhstan- Take 2. November 2009 brought us to Kazakhstan, but we didn't find our next little love in either Karaganda or Aktau. So back to Arizona we came less than two weeks after arriving in Kaz. In April of 2010, we learned about a beautiful little girl and adorable little boy waiting for a family in Ust, Kazakhstan.  While we initially struggled with whether or not this was right for our family, these two little loves quickly found their way into our hearts.  For the four months that followed, we planned for them. We shopped for them. And we fell completely in love with them.

It became clear that things in Kazakhstan were becoming increasingly bumpy. Delays, unprecedented court rulings.  A process that once seemed so smooth and predictable was becoming anything but. We wondered what the future held for us. Would we ever be able to bring these two gorgeous little loves home? In August we decided that our anticipated travel date of November was way too far away to worry about these things.  Three months is a lifetime in the world of international adoption. The country could close adoptions, things could resolve entirely, and anything in between.  So we basically decided to surrender to the process and waited/ hoped for a sign to tell us what to do.

And so in late August, we got our sign: we were pregnant. But what did this mean? Was this a sign telling us: This is too much on your plate. You are not going to Kaz. Or, was this a sign telling us: Now you understand why you were traveling for toddlers when you initially started your process from an infant. What did this sign mean?

We wavered back a forth. Could we do this? Could we add three children to our home in the span of 4 months? Was this in any one's best interest?
That is what it came down to. Could we do it? Sure. Did we want to do it? Selfishly, yes. Absolutely. These two little kiddos in Kazakhstan are two of the most gorgeous children I have ever seen. They are apparently incredibly sweet and loving. Selfishly, I wanted them. I wanted to parent them. But was that best for any of the 4 little people involved? Probably not.

Ultimately, we struck a deal with our agency: We gave them from September 20- October 20th to find a new family for these two kiddos. We were adamant that if they could not find a good family for them, then we were traveling. The chaos of our house, while not an ideal place to transition two children, is a million times better than them languishing in an institution. If on October 20th, they had not found a family, then we were going.

We got the call almost instantaneously. No big shocker- they found another family almost immediately. I won't lie- I think we both felt an equal sense of incredible sadness and relief. The bottom line though, is that these two gorgeous little babies are getting a family. In late November, their mommy and daddy will be in Kazakhstan to begin the process of bringing them home forever. And that is what this is all really about.

Adoption is definitely still in our hearts. It always has been, (from before we were even married!) and it always will be. We have no doubt that we will adopt again. Time will tell when and where.  But for now, we are immensely enjoying this experience and this time in our lives.

Simply parenting a child is such an incredible blessing, no matter how the child comes into your family. We are overjoyed that we will get to welcome children into our family both through the miracle of adoption and pregnancy. We feel beyond blessed.